WHO'S WHO?

Consider this story:

“There was once an extremely beautiful woman, considered by all to be the most beautiful woman in the world, who had the power to make any man who saw her fall in love with her. When it was time for her to get married, men from all over the land sought her hand, but none were good enough for her. Finally, after waiting long for a worthy groom, she married the prince of the neighboring kingdom, a man who was noble, brave and very much in love with her. Their marriage was happy, and they were content in each other’s arms.

But the rumors of her beauty extended far beyond the land, and an evil king ruling the lands across the seas came to hear of her. By the very description of her he was besotted, and he set out to find her and make her his.

He crossed the ocean, and ventured close to place she was staying. And when he set eyes on her for the first time, he realized how true the rumors were. He went up to her, enchanted her and before she could resist his charms, he was taking her to his own capital across the ocean.

The good prince, on finding his wife kidnapped, swore to get her back, and avenge this blow to his honor and family by the evil king. He, along with his brother amassed the largest army ever assembled, crossed the ocean, and attacked the walled capital of the evil king.

Many heroes fought in the war, many heroes died on both sides, and after a long siege, the walls were breached, the city was sacked and evil king was killed. The good prince found his wife, and took her home.

But upon reaching back home, the good prince felt a pang of doubt plague his heart. He began to his wife to be impure, touched by another man, and banished her from the palace. Although he lived to regret this decision, he never searched for her, and she died in obscurity.”

Now comes the important question of ascertaining who is who. And the historical premise of the story. Here are the top two candidates:

Story: The Ramayana, The Iliad

The good prince: Rama, Menelaus

The brother: Laxmana, Agamemnon

The evil king: Ravana, Priam/Paris

The woman: Sita, Helen

The similarities between the two epics seem uncanny, considering no influence between the cultures that created them in the age they were created. One can only conclude collective icons and cultural archetypes at work. Interesting, one must say.

DHISH-KAAON!

If you’ve ever seen an Indian film produced before 2000 (and in many cases even after that, and possibly even today) which featured one of those classic shoot out scenes between the police force (usually featuring a dashing police officer with a paunch and a disproportionate number of havaldars) and a smuggler/ drug lord/ bandit-in-the-forest/ good-guy-who-the-police-hated, you would undoubtedly noticed the peculiar sound effects attached to gun shots, especially in case of bullets fired from the police inspector’s pistol.

It went something along the lines of “Dhish-Kaaon”, which does sound indeed peculiar when put into perspective.

Now, the gun shots fired in Hollywood movies falling in the time period, made using similar technology, featuring similar sequences featured basically only the “Dhish-“, but missed out the comet tail of the “-Kaaon”. Also, if you ever heard a gunshot being fired, you’d notice that the tail was missing from the overall sound effect. Which brings us to the question: Where did the “Kaaon” originate?

Now, my guess is that the first director who ever wanted to film a gunshot (and you’ll be surprised how late someone thought up of this idea, directors during the first couple of decades of Indian films couldn’t get beyond poor landless farmers being oppressed and twins being separated in religious festivals)probably took out a gun, went far far away from any town to avoid any chances of shooting someone (with a gun, not a camera), into the hills, and fired a shot just to see how it sounded. And Viola! He heard a “Dhish-Kaaon” little realizing that the “Dhish” was the gunshot, and the “Kaaon” was the echo of the shot against the hills. And the dimwit recorded the entire thing.

Anyways, thanks to his error of judgment and ignorance of Doppler’s Effect, the “Dhish-Kaaon” became a trademark sound, almost a brand identity for gunshots in Indian cinema, and has ruled the auditory aspects of every violent scene that Indians could create in almost a hundred years of film making.

And today, in spite of newer and better technology, education in the film industry and shooting ranges within cities, the “Kaaon” lives on, forever haunting every “Dhish” incorporated in Indian films.

ON STRESS...

Stress is a funny thing.
It is what you feel when you’re doing something you don’t want to do, and you can’t not do it. That is why cleaning your room and breaking up with you boy/girl friends is always stressful. And honestly, that’s about all there is to stress.
But then again, as you grow up, Adulthood comes into the picture, and messes up this otherwise relatively simple equation. Adulthood and Stress are something like Mentos and Diet Coke- they just don’t get along and usually result in some sort of nervous explosion inside.
Bu at this point, I think I must mention that it is surprisingly easy to identify a stressed adult, basically on two counts. The eminent scholar on human tendencies Hushval Shatska has made the “Observation of Effects of Stress in Adults” the subject of his study for almost a year now, and he has clearly identified these two fronts as the best and easiest ways of identifying a stressed adult: Entropy and Extensions.
Shatska has defined these two fronts and their types in elaborate, extensive details, but I’ll take the liberty of explaining it in brief.

1. Entropy: This is a measure of randomness, and makes people more random and less predictable. It is of the following types.
a. Entropy of Temperament: The Subject’s mood becomes less predictable.
b. Entropy of Habit: The Subject’s habits become less predictable, and old habits die while new ones are noticed.

2. Extensions: This is an addition to any measurable entity that the Subject may be associated with. It is of the following types:
a. Extensions in Deadline: The time taken by the Subject to accomplish tasks increases.
b. Extensions in Waistline: Self Explanatory, sue to excessive eating (see Entropy of Habit)
c. Extensions in Excuses: The Subject needs to excuse his behaviour on more instances. Shatska has identified the most common Excuse to be “the Boss”, referring to the universal entity one level on the hierarchical chain, who is akin to a stress sink.

Using these two effective tools of identification, a stressed adult can be noticed, and either helped or stayed away from, as the situation may dictate.
Though, at the end of his 675 page thesis on the “Observation of Effects of Stress in Adults”, Hushval Shatska has made a small footnote. This says that since adulthood and stress don’t mix at all, it is recommended that adults stay away from stress. This can be done again in two ways, by not taking on stress (implying that one must do only what one wants to) and by not remaining adults (implying that one inculcate childlike values and moralities).
With life today becoming what it is, the idea of stress itself has become a cause of stress. It is therefore in the interests of all those who are threatened by being stressed out to understand the simple equation that links stress with life, and follow Shatska’s two point approach to avoiding it.

ON INSPIRATION...

Have you ever been in a situation where you feel genuinely inspired do something? And by saying ‘doing something’, one does not mean engaging oneself in another random activity that defines one’s mundane daily rut, but in some act that is removed from the ordinary, which has definite positive consequences on one’s level of conscious awareness, and stirs the insides of one’s creative instinct to create something better than what has already been created, in the true spirit of service to one’s inner soul?
No?
Well, then one must say that a great feeling of internal rejoice and intellectual celebration has been missed. Although, one must comment, that this is not entirely surprising. For you see, it is indeed extremely hard to come capture that spirit of the mind, and energy of soul that is conducive to the performance of that act which is removed from the ordinary, and has a definite positive consequence on one’s level of conscious awareness, and stirs the insides of one’s creative instinct of productivity, and if captured, that spirit and energy is extremely hard to harness for the purpose of serving truly one’s inner soul in the pursuit of creating something better than what has already been created.
Extensive research on this topic (or, the myriad of the above topics) has been conducted by the renowned researcher Hushval Shatska, who delves deeply into quantifying the immaterial. His research has produced observations that are highly representative of the situation, but before we explore them, we must get clear some terms of reference.
1. Subject: The person in question, experiencing the spirit and energy.
2. Think Centre: The place which is most suitable to harnessing the aforementioned spirit and energy.
3. Task: The glorious activity which is a serenade to creativity.
4. Distractions: Any object or phenomenon that impairs the Subject’s ability to harness the spirit and energy, and the most common examples of these are: mosquitoes buzzing around the ear, mosquitoes or any other bug biting the arm, babies that cry, barking dogs, leaking taps, etc.


Hushval Shatska’s observations were as follows:
1. The spirit of the mind and energy of the soul conducive for the performance of the Task are to be tapped invariably after dark, and the further away from light the Subject is, the more powerful is the Tapping. The inference to this is that great ideas come only late at night.
2. The ability to harness the spirit of the mind and the energy of the soul occur only in the Think Centre, and that Think Centre is fluid enough to become any place readily available.
3. The grander the Task, as a result of extremely skilful and efficient harnessing of the spirit of the mind and energy of the soul, the more difficult it becomes to create a Think Centre, because the grandest Tasks are only conceived when an irritating aunt/ unpleasant grandparent/ bratty cousin/ odious uncle/ crying babies have occupied any area surrounding a decent possible-Think-Centre and cannot be disturbed.
4. The Think Centre finally chosen, will have Distractions that are directly proportional to the grandness of the Task.
On the basis of these observations, Professor Hushval Shatska finally concluded that the grander the Task, the more impossible it is to accomplish, and using the principals of backward projections, he further concluded that the universe conspires against the Subject when embarking on a task, so that the only tasks that can be possible, are those which require almost negligible levels of spirit and energy, and are constituted by the random activities that define one’s daily mundane rut.

*Author’s note: Hushval Shatska is an odious pessimist, and gives me the heeby-jeebies.

ON REPITITION...

Sometimes a door closes
The lights fade and finally vanish
And the iron grip of dust settles
On articles and memories alike
And we forget what did live
And strive to create another

For what we hide we forget
And what we forget we repeat
Till all we are left with
Are incomplete words
And deeds unfinished
Over and over again

And so we must move back
To wipe away the dust and reopen lives
To relive that what we forgot
And to remember that which we hid away
The airs of memory that are murky and dank
Must be shown to light shining again

So let the doors shut be opened
Let the drapes drawn be pulled apart
Let the flames of thought be rekindled
Let the memories sing to us again
For that which had died once must be reborn
Lest we give birth to another death